Several days ago, I was scrolling on Reddit, and came across a post from a suggested forum called r/bald, consisting of two photos: a before photo of a slightly-dejected young man in his early 30’s, and who’s hair, like millions of men, had been succumbing to male pattern baldness. He had carefully combed wisps of hair over the five or so inches of scalpy real estate in an attempt at a poorly executed illusion.
The second photo was the man posing again, but the difference was a cleanly shaved head, and a wide grin across his face. The caption read: “I finally did it!” The post had a baffling 75k likes. Thousands of comments were congratulating his new found lease on life, welcoming him to the bald club, complimenting how attractive he looked, how beautiful his smile was, and if they weren’t a straight male, married with kids, they’d shoot their shot. The post in this forum was not an outlier. Men suffering from balding, to women undergoing chemotherapy, and as a result, losing their hair, were all posting their decision to let go of what was no longer serving them, and strangers from all around the world were giving them positive reinforcement for their bravery.
As a woman who has been taking clippers to scalp for over a decade due to bouts of boredom, depression, or the overwhelming need to simplify my hair routine down to checking for stray lint or cat hair before rushing out the door, I have forgotten how terrifying it can be for most people to let go of what many claim to be their security blanket, or what determines their level of attractiveness. Until I ran across this post, I mostly thought that the idea of being bald was an idea that only women would find difficult to grapple with. However, the r/bald Reddit forum has given me insight on how men across the globe of all different ages, sizes, and nationalities struggle with what many of them will likely be faced with, almost always too soon. The Cleveland Clinic states that “the early stages usually start in your 30s, but some people have signs as early as their late teens.”
I can only speak for Western culture, but it is safe to say that societally speaking, if you are a man, you are deemed less attractive to have a receding hair line, especially if you are a young adult. Choosing to go bald, i.e., shaving your head even if you still have most of your hair, is a difficult choice for many men. It means that you have accepted the impermanence of your hair. This is a bold decision that many young men dealing with this common form of alopecia likely consider at some point, but refuse to accept the idea of no longer having something that would otherwise signify their youth. The irony is that holding onto hair that is receding or balding can make someone appear older than they really are.
Positive reinforcement, like the aforementioned reddit forum, is such a valuable and affirming way to remind people of their inner beauty, and the power that confidence holds. Hair does not have to determine your beauty, nor does any other social norm that you may be pressured to uphold. You, and only you, are the sole person in charge of how you choose to present yourself in the world. And that is not to say that deciding to opt for a hair plug procedure, getting fitted for a “man-unit” (look it up), or chronically wearing hats are not also valid. But I believe that there is a particular strength and opportunity for personal growth when one decides to let go. Because at the end of the day, it really is just hair.
Citations:
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24515-male-pattern-baldness-androgenic-alopecia
Jonaye L. Barnum 